Difficult Goodbyes

My children flew to Florida this past Sunday for my birthday and to hang out for a few days. Seeing those two standing at my door was simply overwhelming. It’s been over a year since I last saw them and gave them huge bear-hugs as they were coming and going from our home.

Drew (my eldest) had to head back on Wednesday evening in order to take care of a customer. He towers over me even more now (as I continue to shrink). I gave him a hug before he headed off to Tampa International…I don’t think he wanted to let go. I know I didn’t. Heather told me she didn’t realize it was a mutual father-son bond that has been somewhat ill for a few years.  He’s grown in so many ways.

I’m currently sitting in one of the procedure rooms at my surgeon’s office (stomach/digestive system surgery). The staples from my recent surgery are gone (thank you!!). I was forced to say goodbye to Lauren from here. Due to time constraints (and unpredictable clinic schedules), Heather left me here and took Lauren to the airport. I just received a message from Heather that she’s heading back this way. Not the way I wanted to see my daughter off. 

Having those kids (yes…I know they’re adults) made my year by coming to visit. It hurts to see them leave. I love and miss them so much. So much about their lives I’m not aware of…prompting the need for more reliable and meaningful conversations. How do I accomplish this? I’m not sure, yet.

Heather took a picture of Drew, Lauren, and myself as we stood out at the end of the Venice Pier. She says my smile in that picture has been missing for a very long time. She was happy to know it still exists. She made a note to let Drew and Lauren both know and understand just how much seeing them (even if for a short period of time) was affecting my life. I hope they know just how much they mean to me…and how much I want and need them in my life.

I think I’m just going to walk out of here. An appointment at 1:15pm for which I showed up thirty minutes early. It’s now 3:18pm and time to leave. My time is valuable as well. For those curious about the update article concerning the abdominal medical procedures that has me here today (for follow-up)…it’s still forthcoming. Editing posts on a cellphone really isn’t the most convenient method.

So many emotions. So many directions. So many unresolved issues. I’ve conquered so many demons in my life…yet daily I facing down an unrelenting army of them. So many memories and events still to be shared. God willing…I’ll be able to post more soon.

Until next time…



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