[ LOOKING BACK – MOVING FORWARD ] -HISTORICAL RECORD: If I look back upon the posts made as a historical record of my childhood, it is unfortunate that most are filled with clearly negative topics. Some go beyond the word “negative” and straight to “disturbing.” Pleasant memories or disturbing…they are me. They are the good and the bad all squished together over time, like clay in God’s hands (yeah, I could have chosen a better cliché), creating the person I am today. No guarantees are offered as to the person I may be tomorrow. Simply put, none of us can make such a guarantee as we have no guarantee we’ll even be here tomorrow.
Here’s what’s on my mind in recent days, weeks, and months. My faith in Jesus Christ as my Savior is the only item in my life that “I” consider guaranteed. Many hold the same beliefs alongside me, as well as a great multitude who consider me (or us) somewhat deranged for such beliefs.
I’d like to explain the image attached to this post. This past Thursday, I had an appointment with my pulmonologist. The night before, I created an updated list of my medications. Along the left side of the spreadsheet, I keep a tally of prescriptions (Rx), durable medical equipment (DME), and over-the-counter items. Many items on this list fall into multiple categories. However, I want to leave you with the number “50”.
Time…Keeps On Ticking…Sometimes.
Around 4:30pm this afternoon…twenty years ago (sounds like the beginning of a Country song)…I gave my kids what I thought could be the last hug ever. The nurses then stole me away to parts unknown within Vanderbilt University Hospital where they prepped me for a bi-lateral lung transplant.
Only by the Grace of God do I offer a reason for my statistical abnormality against the medical establishment’s “mortality rates”. As I told “an old friend” recently, “Fifty percent of the folks who received a lung transplant around the same time I did…they’ve been dead for fifteen years.” (Note: Updated to meet today’s date.)
The ride continues to be a bumpy one. It is full of great times…and to be completely honest…crappy ones. It’s always my prayer that should I see the sunrise, I recite, “Lord, thank You for another day with my wife, my children, my family, and my friends. Please keep watch over those I love. Thank You for all of the blessings You continue to provide to an undeserving soul. Amen.”
Today is just a tick of the clock…nothing changes.
Due Diligence
I want to offer my apologies for making it somewhat inconvenient to reach my postings. However, based on the hostile nature of certain social media outlets towards people with views not in-step with the BS passed off as “normal”…I wish to avoid cencorship.
What Matters…What Doesn’t.
As I approach an incredible milestone on this path I call “My Life”, I wish to call special attention to friends and family I (rather WE) have lost along the way. One should always appreciate and place their focus on the positive; but never do I want the memory of those I have lost to be forgotten. My focus and awe should fall upon the sheer number of miracles and achievements I have been blessed to witness…both magnificent and heartbreaking.
This upcoming milestone is a statistical achievement only my Maker, God Almighty, could deserve credit and praise for its existence. Though both exciting and amazing on many levels, this achievement pales in comparison to another just a little further down the road. Should God see me through this first milestone (as none of us know the number of our days), please be in prayer that my time on this Earth be extended ever so slightly.
Father, please forgive my ignorance and my arrogance. Father, forgive me for wasting so many of the sunrises You have granted me. Lord, You know my broken heart, my broken soul, and my broken life. You know all of my burdens and all of my pain. You have known me before I was in the womb and You know my eternal existence.
Father, to walk my daughter down the wedding aisle to her waiting bridegroom; if broken mind, and broken body be my lot; as a mere mortal this would make my life complete.
However, never interpret my fight to live and serve my Lord as over should He see me to this place and time I desire. Indeed! Countless memories remain I long to share with my wife, children & grandchildren, family, and friends.
Should God grant me the time, physical capacity, mental fortitude, and spiritual strength…my life compass remains pointed towards a particular birthday. That day…that lofty goal of a proud man…I set as the culmination of all the experiences and yearly anniversaries on borrowed time.. A small tick of the clock for God, over the halfway mark for the man who asked.
So much I still have to witness…experience. All the pieces of my human experience lay in the hands of our Father in Heaven, Christ Jesus.
May God bless you all. May you always treat each day as a precious gift. May you live it with love.
—Bill
Just A Short Update…
First, I’d like to thank those who are always praying for me. Then, I’d want you to know that back procedure wasn’t my first…and would not have been my last.
The back procedure had to be postponed. Last Sunday I realized I was experiencing what’s called “aspiration pneumonia”. In my situation, the contents of my stomach (acid & food contents) creep back up my esophagus as I sleep. In December 2019, I underwent a surgical procedure on my stomach to prevent this from happening. However, the sutures holding it all in place have broken loose…and thus I have all the acid reflux (GERD) and stomach contents backing up again. I’ll be having that repaired next month I expect.
I’m on antibiotics for the aspiration pneumonia…and they seem to be working. I’ve had to double-down on the Albuterol nebulizer (I despise that thing as the steroids mess with you both mentally & physically). The albuterol helps open up my lungs…reduce wheezing & phlegm build-up.
If I’m “not” completely cleared up by January 2nd/3rd…my local pulmonologist has agreed (something I requested) to perform a bronchoscopy. My doc sends a camera & other tools up my nose…down the back of my throat…and into my lungs. At this point he can have a look around for anything of substantial size and retrieve it. I’m quite sure he would use the opportunity to grab a small sample of my lung tissue for examination by a pathologist (looking for any other signs of rejection I’m not already experiencing. Essentially…it’s calling in “Roto-Rooter” for my lungs.
As I’m improving on the antibiotics, I really don’t expect the bronchoscopy to happen. I will however be seeing the gastroenterologist here soon. He’ll do a similar procedure…but takes the camera & tools down my esophagus and into my stomach checking out the situation.
That’s all for now. Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas.