Some of my friends know that I have been dealing with “body-wide pain” over the last couple months. The medications that I have been prescribed are not what I need. Believe it or not, they are too powerful and of the wrong class/type. There will be future posts on this topic.

We have been experiencing moderate temperatures here in Middle-Tennessee the last few weeks, so we decided to open up the windows and “air the house out”. Opening up the windows also has the nice effect of allowing you to turn the AC unit off (save a little on the electric bill). These moderate temperatures have also brought along lots rain and thunderstorms almost daily (humid…damp conditions). To borrow a quote from an old 80’s band to describe the level of pain I have been experiencing, “This pain goes to eleven.” Effectively I had run out of options for any relief…short of taking enough of the medications to keep myself sedated constantly. That is not living…and that is not how I want to spend my time.

{Squirrel} We (several doctors, my wife and myself) are all coming to the same conclusion…I am getting old (do not laugh Runt) and developing arthritis. I am trying to get a referral to a rheumatologist to confirm this theory and hopefully find a treatment satisfactory to all involved parties.{/Squirrel}

So, I am at the point of utter frustration. I am getting zero relief from the pain medications, heating pad, laying down, sitting up…nothing is working. Heather was laying by my side in our bedroom…praying for answers, solutions, any kind of help for her husband…and then…the answer blew in through the windows. It is damp outside…it is damp inside.

Arthritis you say? A condition typically agitated by the exact weather conditions I just described. Close the windows! Change the atmosphere.

So, I asked Heather if she would close up the windows and turn the AC unit back on in an effort to “dry out the air” inside the house. The results were absolutely amazing. Obviously, my ears allowed me to hear Heather closing all of the windows and then the eventual airflow through the duct work…but my body was also talking to me. The initial result was not relief as you might think…but an absolute opposite effect…the pain became even more intense…an increased ache in my legs, back and chest that persisted over a three to five minute period. I can only describe those three to five minutes as a period of rapid adjustment to the abrupt atmospheric change. My body had just received a gigantic bolus of “good atmosphere”…it just could not process the changes fast enough.

As the air continued to dry out and my body acclimated itself to the atmosphere it knows and loves…the pain slowly dropped back to a point of tolerance. A point where the medications were at least somewhat functional and I was not at the point of crying from pain, frustration, and lack of control. This entire transition took less than thirty minutes to complete.

Now I am asking myself, how many times do I (we) have to experience the same situation? Why must I (we) be so hard-headed? It’s quite simple…control is an illusion. We do not have it…and never have. But we continue to act as if we can fix that which is broken by ourselves. That trouble, pain and such…bring those burdens to the feet of our Savior instead. Pray that He would take those burdens from us and grant relief from the ills of this world. Pray for strength, wisdom, and knowledge…the “answer” to the problem(s). And then just “listen”…He heard you. Sometimes the answers are presented in a subtle manner…sometimes they blow in through the windows like the March winds. Always be sure to give thanks to our Lord for his blessings (all of them…great and small). I know that not all of our prayers are answered so quickly like my testimony above…but we have to remember that God’s time is not our time.

May God Bless You All… Amen.

Fourteen years ago…sometime around 4:00pm…March 20, 2003…I entered one of Vanderbilt University Hospital’s operating rooms to receive two lungs generously donated by a grieving family. Sometime between nine and twelve hours later (March 21, 2003)…I would be breathing through lungs I wasn’t born with but graciously received from that family’s deceased twenty-two year old son. As I continue to tell people, it’s only by the grace of God that I’m still here. I’ve done nothing special to help out my endurance. In fact, I’d say I’ve done more to shorten my lifespan than extend it. Whatever the reason(s) for God keeping me around…I thank Him. I give thanks even in the face of physical pain and mental anguish. I give thanks for all the memories I’ve “not” missed with wife, children, family and friends. I give thanks for all the blessings, all the wisdom, and most of all…I give thanks for all the forgiveness. Organ transplant is not a cure…it’s just trading one disease for another. Some of those around me understand that statement…others have yet to figure it out.

God has a purpose for us all. If you asked me what I think my purpose is…I’d tell you, “To share my testimony. To share how God has continually played a critical part in my life…whether I knew it, didn’t know it, or simply wouldn’t accept it.

Lord, I thank you…but I still ask, “why me?” Certainly there was someone else on this planet more deserving of the gift I received. None of us know the number of our days…but as Heather would tell you…I owe her thirty more years. Strange thing is…I’ve been owing her thirty years since the day I married her. Must be that “new math” or something. Even now, at fourteen years post transplant, the mortality rate still hovers around 50% at 5 years. As far as I know, no one can tell why some organ recipients have longevity…while others don’t. All I can do is written above…give thanks.

Let everyone you know your thoughts and/or wishes concerning organ donation. Please give blood regularly (if you can).

Thank you and may God bless you.

Heather started complaining of a sore/burning throat a couple days back. She had been sneezing as well, so we were chalking it up to spring allergies (post-nasal drip irritating her throat, etc.). Well, after the “aching body” symptom was added…I asked that she please see our family doctor. Her favorite test, the “strep swab”, revealed a positive result. She’s currently sleeping and I pray she’s able to stay that way for a while. She didn’t get much sleep last night at all.

As for myself, I also had the “strep swab” test done a little later today and received a negative result. Not sure how that happened…but I’m thinking if the test were to be administered again tomorrow the results would be different.

Heather was treated with a pretty hefty dose of Bicillin (via injection) and a steroid injection to help ease the discomfort commonly associated with Step infections. Wouldn’t you know it that I’m allergic to “penicillin” based drugs leaving that course of treatment off the table.

I contacted my docs from the Vanderbilt Adult Lung Transplant Program for some advice to share with our Primary Care folks. Since I’m not “currently” showing an infection, I’m sitting on a script for “Azithromycin” should the day occur and that strep bug decides I’m a lovely target.

I’m asking for prayers that Heather experience a speedy recovery and not suffer. I’ve had strep before…it’s a good get out of work excuse…PERIOD. And, although the odds are against me (given I have almost no immune system), I would also ask for prayers that I never have to get that prescription filled. Hey…you in the back row…don’t laugh…God still does miracles. 🙂

Thank you to all my prayer friends…of course thank you God.

Over the past couple months, some very “interesting” information has been brought to my attention. I sat for a while tonight praying about, “Why is this information being provided to me at this point in my life?” “What purpose could it possible serve?” And of course, I asked…even though I trust the sources who have provided the information…what (or rather who) influenced them to give me this information.

The more I thought about, the more I’ve felt compelled to believe that the information may not be “heaven sent”. Simply put, publishing the knowledge outside of my small group of trusted friends would do nothing but cause lots of harm. I can’t imagine God providing information that would bring more chaos and harm to my already confused life.

(NIV) 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen.

That’s the only way I could figure out what to do…and the answer God is providing me, “Do nothing”. Or, “Leave it be,” as a true Southerner might tell you. Take the high road and leave the trash in the garbage can where it belongs.

Thank you Lord for your continued guidance and wisdom. Amen

A couple of weeks back, I became the victim of an attack on my database server. For the geeks out there, somehow I had managed to leave a couple user names in MariaDB (the fork of MySQL in use on my NAS) with unlimited access and no password. Some ingenious toilet paper consumer decided to delete every SQL database he/she could using those credentials. Every website, with exception of Grace Baptist Church’s website was lost. How’s that for don’t mess with God? Luckily, at some point in the recent past I had made backups of the Medical, Soapbox and Testimony databases. My plan, that I was currently working on was to consolidate all three (3) of the websites into a single site making it easier for to post my thoughts and not require my readers to chase around the web to find what I might have written. Yeah…let’s have all my readers enjoy a little ADDD (Adult Attention Deficit Disorder) for a day. Ha Ha Ha…I don’t think they’d enjoy it.

So, here I am…all of my websites are obliterated and I have messages demanding “BitCoins” be sent to some BS web address to get my data back. First, I’m not paying a jerk like that…ever. Second, the loss wasn’t all that bad…the rest of the data on the server is intact and untouched. The only thing that bothered me…what type (if any) junk did this intruder leave behind that might infect future visitors to my website(s). Taking this into account…I decided to wipe the OS off the server (clean sweep) and implement and few changes I’d been wanting to do anyways. So…all this malicious ding-dong managed to do was motivate me to setup the server the way I’ve wanted it working for a couple years now. I just never undertook the job…because as my wife will tell you…it’s taken me 2 or 3 weeks now and I’m STILL not completely done with all of the implementation plans I wish to have working.

Yes…some of the things I’m doing qualify under the OCD label…but the rest…when done “should” provide a much friendlier system with our data centralized rather than scattered across 3 or 4 different computers and/or phones. It’s not really difficult…it’s just time consuming. My poor little server isn’t the most power machine in the world…so when you ask it to move 100’s of GB’s at a time…you should be prepared to go grow some coffee beans.